...and there was one.

I had an amazing weekend. (How's that for a good start?) Seth's friend, John, got married yesterday in Dallas so Seth and Kailee went to the wedding leaving me and Sophia here to hang out. I forgot out easy it is to have only one child at a time -- no fighting and no screaming. One thing I did realize is that it is a lot more work but it can be more rewarding (in an easier sense) when you only have one child with you. I know that may seem weird so let me clarify. When both girls are here, it is easier for me to get caught up in what is going on in my day. I tend to think that the girls can just play with each other while I do the things I need (err...want) to do. For instance, I might sit down to check my email and then before I know it I have been on the computer for an hour with Kailee and Sophia coming in and me telling them to "go play". I know this sounds harsh but it happens...a lot more than I would like to admit to. :( This weekend, while Sophia was the only one here, I found myself realizing that she couldn't very well go play with herself when she's used to having Kailee here (and she is only 2 -- YAY! -- as of today). So, I would turn away from my menial task and go play with her. It was so rewarding! I

It was also really sad. Kailee has never been away from me for more than a couple hours (except once when she stayed with Grandma while Seth and I went to KC for a night). During the day while Seth was in school, I started to panic. What if something happened? Did Kailee understand how much I love her?? How could I let her know? I am sure she was so tired of me picking her up, with tear-filled eyes, and telling her how much I love her...and making her tell and re-tell me my cell phone number and her mommy's and daddy's names. :)

Later that night when Kailee called me, ecstatic that they were staying in a hotel room, I got teary-eyed again. My baby is growing up! How/when did this happen? I have always said that I look forward to this age and now that it is here I am sad about it. Will I ever get to the point that I want another child...? I don't like the sleepless nights or the effects that pregnancy has on my body but I love my girls so much that it literally hurts sometimes. I know I would love another child just as much...hmmm...we shall see.

Back to my amazing weekend: Sophia has never had me alone for more than an hour or two at a time (and usually she is napping when that happens). She laughed a lot this weekend! I LOVE hearing my children genuinely laugh. It is the highlight of my day -- when their faces light up with laughter. It takes my breath away -- literally.

On Saturday, we hung out with some friends and it was so nice. Allison & Cory are a couple in town that have a lot of the same beliefs that we have...and Allison and I get along great. Unfortunately our children do not. haha. Allison's son, Steven, terrorizes Sophia. He is constantly pulling her hair, yanking her to the ground, etc...He is only a year old (just turned last month) but he is almost 3 ft. tall. Both of his parents are over 6'. Imagine this boy, almost as tall as Sophia, that doesn't quite understand that he shouldn't do these things. It was a trying day for Sophia yesterday (at least for an hour or so). Allison and Cory did a great job correcting Steven and finally at the end of the day, he actually came up and hugged Sophia -- though she was scared out of her wits when he came up to her with his arms out. hahaha. They will get used to each other. :)

Today was a big day! Sophia turned 2!!! When Kailee turned two she got a "big girl bed" and so we carried the tradition on with Sophia. Today she transitioned out of her crib and into a toddler bed that matches Kailee's. She has been climbing out of her crib constantly. I took pictures last night of her last night in the crib. :( It is sad, in a way. She is 2 and Kailee is 3 3/4 (haha...I know). Before I know it they are going to be going to college and getting married with children of their own.

Kailee tells me almost every day that she wants to be an astronaut, an entrepreneur ("like my mommy" -- haha), and a mommy. I just tell her she can do anything she sets her mind to. Let her dream big!! It takes big dreams to accomplish big actions.

So, Kailee & Seth got back from TX today and, while the girls napped for over 2 hours (Woo Hoo!), I went out to get a couple things for Sophia's birthday while Seth relaxed a little. These hectic weekends send him to the brink of insanity. He is definitely different than I am in that way. I could go, go, go all the time but Seth needs down time. That being said, I decided not to have the girls' friends over like I had originally planned and we made it a small family affair. I have to admit that it was kinda nice just being together with my family and watching the girls have so much fun opening presents and singing "Happy Birthday". I love my family. I love my life. God has been so good to me. I feel so undeserving...

So, I got Kailee a couple small things too so she didn't feel left out (and so I don't have to hear them fighting over Sophia's new toys for weeks on end -- selfish, I know). They both got a new baby doll, Sophia got a new doll stroller (they already have one), Kailee and Sophia both got a new book. Kailee's book is a Bible Study for Toddlers -- it is really simple and I am going to start reading it to her (them) in the mornings. Sophia's book is called "Tickle Monster" and it is really cute. Sophia also got a new outfit and a pair of shoes. We like to keep it simple. Not to mention, she got her bed. I am listening to the girls in their rooms right now talking incessantly. Their beds are side-by-side so I think they are really enjoying "catching up" from this weekend. :) I will post pictures later.

After this weekend, I realize that I need to spend more "quality time" with my girls. I knew this before and I have been really cutting back on play dates and such in order to accomplish this. One would thing that since I am a SAHM, I would be spending tons of quality time with the girls...I have learned there is a large difference between quality time and the quantity of time. When we go to play dates (and we were going 5 days/week), I tell the girls to go play and I talk to the other moms there. I don't really spend any quality time with the girls. :( I'm not sure how this works out...but I am working on correcting it.

I pray daily for patience...and lots of it. I find myself, oftentimes, getting very snappy and cranking toward the girls. I have this list of things I want to get done in one day and sometimes I need to just throw the list out the window and enjoy them...they will not always be this small and, before I know it, they will be in school all day. Part of me wants to rejoice at this and the other part of me wants to cry.

On that note, I am going to go in and tell them good night one more time...and remind them of my love for them. I am so glad that God had such amazing plans for my life. :)

Relief...

Today was a good day. :) I wasn't so sure it was going to be when I woke up to the sound of the girls at 6:30 this morning (AGAIN!). Dastardly time change! This is the first time it has ever really effected Kailee -- actually, maybe it hasn't really effected Kailee; maybe Sophia waking up early is effecting Kailee. Ugh. Either way...I don't d0 mornings. To make it all worse, we had to be at the track at 9 this morning to do intervals, plyometrics, and squats. It is a good thing I had people relying on me to be there or else I definitely would not have worked out today. All of that to say that I am glad I worked out (after the fact)...

The girls and I came home and they played, without fighting, for almost an hour!! It seems these days the girls fight over everything! Seriously...It's crazy! I was able to FINALLY get through two inboxes of emails that have been piling up on me. It is one of my biggest pet peaves to have more than a few (3-5) email in my inbox at any given time -- today I had over 40! ...and that didn't include my Scentsy inbox. YAY!

The guy came to fix the shower. The mold issue was getting completely out of hand! Even if I cleaned the shower everyday (and I most certainly did not), there was no way to keep the mold from taking over. YUCK! He had to use a wire brush to remove the existing mold...ewwww... I'm glad its gone. While he was here I was actually able to clean my house while the girls took a bath. Yes folks, they like to take loonnnggg baths; the type of bath where the water turns freezing cold and their lips turn blue -- and I still have to drag Kailee out. Oftentimes I result to bribery (did I just say that outloud?).

The icing on the cake -- I had someone watch the girls for a couple hours tonight so I could go to an OSSC meeting (my first one!). It was really nice. There were about 40 other women there (all officer's wives) and we talked about decorating -- YAY! I love my children and I love to talk about them but enough is enough already. :) It was so nice to get out and talk about something other than baby poop and play dates. I feel so refreshed.

Now I am off to get a good night's rest. I stayed up way too late last night.

Sorry for boring you guys to tears...I promise a more insightful email when my mind isn't so foggy from sleep deprivation.

It's Halloween!

Today is Halloween! YAY! I am so excited. Kailee is now at the age (going on 4) where she is also excited about saying "Trick or Treat" and "getting treats" from people.

Sophia's costume was a piece of cake -- I inadvertently found it while shopping around one of my favorite stores (Marshall's). She is the world's cutest ladybug. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE all of the tulle! Results are in -- She is just the cutest ladybug you have ever seen??

Kailee, on the other hand, is at the age where she knows what she wants to be. So, a month or so ago I asked her what she wanted to be for Halloween and this is how the conversation proceeded to happen:



Kailee: "I want to be a scary monster." pause "I don't care if I scare Sophia."
Me: "That's not very nice. You don't want to scare your sister."
Kailee: "Well, OK. I just want to be a nice monster."

She is growing up so quickly!

I soon realized that I'm not very creative and I didn't have a clue where I could find an age-appropriate, non-scary monster costume for a 3 1/2 year old. hmmm...So, I did what most mothers would do. I convinced her that she wanted to be something else. :) Her next suggestions was "I wanna be a pirate! AARRRGGGHHH!" I love my 3 year old.

Now, this I could do. I checked local costume shops and looked online. I couldn't believe that most of the pirate costumes for 3 year olds were laden with skulls & crossbones. Seriously? That DEFINITELY isn't age-appropriate -- or appropriate at all, in my opinions. After scouring the internet, I FINALLY found one. It is actually a buccaneer costume and it was so cute.

The results are in -- I have the cutest kids in the world! I have been so blessed...and I cannot wait to trick-or-treat with them in just a couple hours!

One of THOSE days...

Wow! Has it ever been a long day? I am asking myself, once again, why I am still up. Sheesh...

The day started off great! My friend, Catherine, called me to ask if I wanted to drive up to the outlet mall with her in Gilroy. I have put our family on a VERY STRICT budget for the next few weeks but I thought it would be fun to go up and hang out for a while. The girls were great, I had a nice time chatting with Catherine, and we got to eat at In & Out Burger!! Woo Hoo! I had never had their food and it was amazing! I definitely recommend you go there sometime if you get the opportunity. You can find their "location finder" here.

Again, let me stress how good the girls were today. We had a great time...We got home and I put Sophia down for a nap (she only slept about 30 minutes in the car) and Kailee and I started to lay down together. Then I realized that Seth had a meeting at 4:00 (Catherine had told me about this in passing -- her husband and Seth are in the same company at DLI) and I didn't get the usual call from Seth requesting a ride from one side of post to the others o I decided to call him. It was 8 minutes til 4 and his response was "Oh crap!" Great! He had forgotten about his meeting. I rush out to the car, put in the car seats (I rode with Catherine to Gilroy this morning), get the girls back up and head out the door. Whew!

We pick up Seth and drop him off on the other side of post making him only about 10 minutes late instead of 30 or 40 minutes late. Now, I was determined to get the girls down for a nap and maybe sneak in a little shut-eye myself; only to realize that it just wasn't in the cards today. Sophia (who usually sleeps REALLY well) just wouldn't go to sleep, she kept crying. Ugh. So, after about 20 minutes of listening to her cry I decided to go ahead to Wal-mart to try to return a few things and to Marshall's to see if they have the costume Kailee wants for Halloween. It went straight down hill from here!

Let's just say that we never made it in Marshall's, they wouldn't take my broken merchandise back at Wal-mart (who knew Wal-mart had a 90 day return policy-- I guess I'll be sticking with Target after all), and Kailee about drove me over the edge! It was insane. She just wouldn't listen! I don't know what got into her! I swear she was taken over...it was a BATTLE even getting back home. Thank God Seth decided not to stay late tonight (like he usually does on Wednesdays) or else I may have lost my mind! Ok, so, not really but I sure felt like it!

By the end of the night I felt like I was going to pull my hair out. Seth had a little studying to do so I went to Seattle's Best and got a hot chocolate (THE BEST IN THE WORLD!!) and proceeded to Marshall's and Target to look for Kailee's Halloween costume. It is amazing how hard it is to find a pirate costume for a 3 year old that doesn't have skulls and crossbones all over it. I never did find a costume but I had a nice relaxing time out.

As I went in a few minutes ago to check on the girls, I felt this overpowering wave of guilt come over me. I spent so much time "yelling" at Kailee and punishing her the last 1/2 of the day; and I was so upset at her...What is wrong with me?? She is my baby girl!? I knelt beside her bed tonight as she slept and I ran my fingers through her hair telling her "I'm sorry" all the while praying for God to give me patience and a gentle reminder that these girls are only on "loan" to me. He has entrusted them into my care and I need to cherish that. Does that mean that Kailee will not be disciplined any more? No, definitely not! But it does mean that I am going to try to look at her rock instead of the computer screen when she asks (even though I have already seen it 1/2 dozen times!), I will read Sophia the book she has been toting around asking me to read (in her own special "I can only say two words at a time" way) to her instead of folding the laundry, errr...I mean sweeping the floors. (the same laundry has been on the back of the couch for 2 days. Whoops!) I love my girls. They are my life! I need to remember to slow down and enjoy them -- not see them as a burden or a headache. I don' t do this enough!

So, I have learned my lesson for this day and I REALLY am holding back the urge to pick Kailee up (my little girl who is growing so quickly) and rock her for a while...Remember that a day isn't something to get through, it is something to be LIVED!

Good night world! I will continue to pray that tomorrow will be better. I am not perfect but I can definitely be a good mother to my children -- with the help and love of Christ.